I was born and raised in the suburb of Juhu in Bombay now known as Mumbai. We were a family of four where me and my sister and our parents lived in a small unit, located between the famous Bhaidas Hall/Prithvi theatre (where a lot of Gujarati/Hindi/English plays were staged). I attended a famous school in Juhu where a lot of famous Bollywood actors’ children attended the same school !
I never liked to watch plays in theatre because I found them boring, but my Ma used to love watching them. Ma would always tell us stories of how she loved to perform and take part in drama and dance in school and college, but her parents and older brothers would never encourage her as it was considered “not good” in society. The emphasis was on studying, getting a degree and then settle down by getting married to an educated boy. Sounds quite normal and typical for that era of the 50s and 60s in which my Ma grew up in.
Fast forward to the 80s, I, in turn, loved watching movies. During my formative years, I had developed some inferiority complexes for various personal reasons and I never thought I had it in me to pursue what I liked.. for example, acting or becoming a tour/travel manager.. somewhere these aspirations just got buried deep into a hole and life went by. I never wanted to study and was keen to join a well-known travel company at that time as a tour manager. My parents, while progressive in their parenting; and getting us educated and raising us as independent girls, always wanted us to complete our post-graduation and get a stable, decent job. I went on to complete my MBA in Finance after my B.Com and started my career in the Banking/Finance industry. After I got married, my husband and I, we migrated to this part of the world and life went along..
Between 2018 and 2021, I underwent two main cathartic life experiences; one, where I went through a tough time recovering from a car accident and second, seeing my Ma (who had heart disease) die a slow, painful, depressive death. The car accident could have killed me or left me a paraplegic, but I was just lucky to have narrowly survived a neck fracture (hangman’s fracture) and other spinal injuries including a tailbone fracture.
During my recovery phase post-accident, over the next few years, my Ma was in and out of ICU in India. I don’t know how I managed to keep my headspace ! I was trying to juggle between my recovery and my Ma’s deteriorating health condition; and in addition, my daughter was in HSC at the same time, not to forget, I was trying hard to go back to my full-time work in a big 4 Bank. I underwent a series of counselling sessions to get through this tough time, and this kept me afloat until COVID happened. My father who was also aging was a full-time care giver for my Ma and thanks to God, we were able to find a home help that stayed 24/7 with my parents in India.
I saw my Ma dying on Face Time in April 2021. I had to take some hard decisions during this time when India was in lockdown and was facing a severe COVID crisis, whether to go to India, whether to admit her in the hospital where there was a high probability she may get COVID and never come back, or to let her remain at home and leave things in God’s hands.
I still find this extremely traumatic and a lot of “what if” questions surface in my mind but it was only thanks to a very, very supportive husband and the support of some of my extended family that kept me going.
I could not go to India for her funeral as borders were closed and all of this took a toll on my mental health. My two kids were turning into young adults, and I did not want them to feel that I was low all the time. In fact, I needed to be strong to support them since they were getting frustrated with the unending lockdowns and not knowing when the COVID times would end.
In the interim, I continued to do some soul searching/counselling, and I made a conscious choice of trying to find some purpose and direction. IN my mind, I kept thinking that I don’t want to remain sad and low all the time. I don’t want to live a life of regret and missed opportunities.
During the level 4 lockdown we had in NSW, since we were all locked inside the house, I decided to find a hobby or do an online course or plan a future travel. I channelised my free time to think what I really wanted to do, and I thought about my hobby in school where I had taken Drama and quite honestly, I had really enjoyed it. This spark prompted me to research further and I stumbled upon an ad for online acting classes for adults and I was curious how this would work in the lockdown.
That deep rooted interest in acting seemed to sprout. It was also very symbolic that when I performed for the first time on stage, I had this bizarre thought that I would find my Ma somewhere in that audience enjoying my performance and that is how my acting journey began. I also did an online mortgage broking course to consider if this could be an alternate career choice for me and if I decided not to, then the course would just add to my skills in my current role in Banking in Credit Risk.
Today, I try to pursue all acting opportunities that come by no matter how small the roles may be, but I enjoy it and feel grateful and proud that despite the setbacks, I’m able to appreciate what life has to offer. I make time and manage my workloads at home and at work to be able to dedicate my commitment to these activities that I enjoy. I also found a good sisterhood in the Saree Club that I enjoy being a part of and this way I get to drape my Ma’s old, treasured sarees that otherwise I would not have normally worn.
So I’d say don’t give up on yourself or your pursuits and don’t be afraid of trying something new; that means something to you no matter how small or insignificant it may be to others. You live only once and you only realise this when you have personally experienced a narrow miss. I find acting is good therapy for mental health and, more so I love it so much that I hope to be able to continue, on this journey. As I age gracefully, I have learnt to be more grounded, humble, grateful, carefree, unafraid to let go of relationships that don’t align with my values and lastly, dance like no one’s watching whenever there is foot tapping music…
✨ Namita’s message is clear: “Don’t give up on yourself or your pursuits. You live only once, and it’s never too late to try something new.”
🙏 Thank you She Magazine for giving me this opportunity to share my journey.
